This is the Thick of It

our church is reading through the Bible together this year (which, side note, has been awesome and i’m hoping write about next week). today’s new testament reading was in matthew 26. jesus and the disciples are in the garden of gethsemane, and jesus says to peter, “… the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!”
i hear THAT, i thought to myself.
and a few verses later… “when he returned to them again, he found them sleeping, for they couldn’t keep their eyes open.”
yup, i hear that too.
the other day, a friend’s mom asked me how old my kids were. when i replied with, “my son is three and my daughter is eight months,” her eyes got wide and she put a hand on my shoulder. “oooh, you are in the thick of it.”
let me tell you, there was something so validating in having an experienced woman say that this is a full season of life.
nursing london. carrying her. lifting cruz into the car. cruz is climbing on my back. cruz is climbing on my back while i’m nursing london. i’m lugging bags and hoisting strollers. i’m filling cups and chasing boys and dogs around the backyard. and could there be any more wiping?
that’s what i wasn’t prepared for in parenting: all.the.wiping.
kisses. peekaboo. smoothing hair off of tired faces. leaning down to listen better.
my arms and back are tired, so i’ve been trying my hardest to keep my spirit refreshed, to remember what a blessing and joy it is to serve these little souls with every ounce of my strength. Lord, you gave me these hands to hold and wipe. you made my hips perfectly wide enough to tote my baby around on. you made my legs strong enough to chase my son. my spirit is willing, Lord. help me keep my eyes open.


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